“If you wish to escape from prison, the first thing you must realise is that you are in prison. If you think you’re free, no escape is possible.” G.I. Gurdjieff.
I’m sure that quote is way overused but it’s so good, so revealing. Especially as a regular mantra to come back to once in a while.
Very helpful.
I believe we (therapists) have imprisoned ourselves in close relationships. Our jail being one-to-one intense and deep connections.
I write this sat in my consulting room, with all its little trinkets. The walls painted in the colour I like, the light liminal (never too bright), the books all about the within, the objects chosen having a deeper significance than simply their surface level… the overall aura is one of inner contemplation in a comfortable setting.
I feel at ease here.
“It’s safer inside”, said a guy I once knew of, after he’d punched a police officer in the face.
He did it so he’d get locked up again. Back into the womb we might postulate. Back into the regular heartbeat of the institution. Definitely away from the unpredictable, often dangerous streets of a certain North East town.
If we’re not careful, like the dogs in Pavlov’s experiment salivating at the sound of a bell, even when no food is presented, we will condition ourselves into only seeking intimate, thoughtful connections – mostly one to one. With ‘in’mates.
Our bells being someone connecting to deeper feelings. Before we know it, we’re magnetised… galvanised even. Our new-found friend favoured over shallow, surface level types.
Gathering more and more intensity into our lives until we just need to be on our own, or signing up to a therapeutic retreat or conference or inner experience somewhere or booking a holiday ‘because of’ or connected to the work we do. On and on and on we go!
Even having fun becomes a necessary act, framed as important, a must, therapeutic, self-care…
We are in danger of therapising everything. It’s not just ‘back then’ when we were in training seeing all of these new theories as to do with us - diagnoses, adaptations, developmental stages, personality types, attachment styles etc – it’s now! Only it’s more subtle and more pervasive. Our whole lives have become it.
I went to Download Festival once. I went there on my best mate’s stag do. I was never fully into heavy metal and was carrying prejudices about the scene (mentally preparing myself to be comfortably distant whilst there).
It was awesome! Truly awesome.
It shook my bones and internal organs right up! Wow!
‘Just what I needed!’, I thought afterwards,
‘An absolute necessity; so therapeutic.’
He, he!
What’s the key to escaping your prison? That’s for you to find out.
I’m off back to Donnington Park.
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